3 Ways To Tolerate Distress

Life inevitably brings stressful and painful moments, from daily frustrations to major challenges - how we respond makes all the difference. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches distress tolerance - the ability to manage emotional pain without reacting impulsively. These skills help you stay in control and get through the moment. Here are three powerful DBT techniques to manage distress.

1. Radical Acceptance

Sometimes, pain comes from resisting reality. Radical Acceptance means fully acknowledging the present moment - good or bad - without trying to change or fight it. This doesn’t mean you approve of the situation, but you stop wasting energy wishing it were different.

For Example: You lose your job unexpectedly. Instead of spiraling into anger or panic, you say to yourself, "This is really hard, but it has happened. I can now focus on what to do next." By accepting reality, you free yourself to take meaningful action rather than getting stuck in frustration.

2. Self-Soothe with Senses

This skill involves using your five senses to calm yourself during difficult moments. It's like having a personal comfort toolkit. For example:

• Touch: Wrap yourself in a soft blanket or hold something warm.
• Smell: Light a scented candle or breathe in fresh air.
• Sight: Look at a calming picture or watch the clouds move.
• Sound: Listen to soothing music or nature sounds.
• Taste: Drink a warm cup of tea or savor a piece of chocolate.

The key is to fully focus on the sensory experience, shifting your attention away from distress and back to the present moment.

3. Distraction (ACCEPTS)

ACCEPTS provides structured ways to temporarily shift attention from distress. Think of distraction as a temporary timeout, not a permanent solution. It gives you breathing room to return to the situation with a clearer mind.

• Activities: Do something enjoyable like reading, exercising, or cooking.
• Contributing: Help someone else, volunteer, or offer kindness.
• Comparisons: Remind yourself of past struggles you overcame or compare your situation to someone worse off (with compassion).
• Emotions: Watch a funny movie, listen to uplifting music, or read something inspiring.
• Pushing away: Mentally set aside the problem for now, e.g. write it down and don’t look at it until later..
• Thoughts: Distract yourself with puzzles, counting, or reciting lyrics.
• Sensations: Use strong sensory input, like squeezing an ice cube or taking a cold shower.

Remember

These skills aren't about avoiding problems - they're about getting through difficult moments. With practice, they become reliable tools for navigating life's challenges.

References

Linehan, M. M., & Wilks, C. R. (2021). "The Course and Evolution of Dialectical Behavior Therapy." American Journal of Psychotherapy, 74(2), 89-97. A comprehensive review of DBT's development and its approach to distress tolerance.

Neacsiu, A. D., Eberle, J. W., & Kramer, R. (2020). "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Transdiagnostic Emotion Dysregulation: A Pilot Randomized Controlled Trial." Behaviour Research and Therapy, 95, 187-198. Investigates the effectiveness of DBT skills, including ACCEPTS, across different psychological conditions.

Leyro, T. M., Zvolensky, M. J., & Bernstein, A. (2018). "Distress Tolerance and Psychopathological Symptoms and Disorders: A Review of the Empirical Literature among Adults." Psychological Bulletin, 136(4), 576-600. Reviews the relationship between distress tolerance and various psychological outcomes.