Passive, Aggressive, Assertive: find your communication style
Reviewed By
Donna Bottomley - Psychotherapist, MBABCP accredited, 10+ years in CBT and EMDR
This journal helps you reflect on your communication habits and empowers you to express yourself in ways that strengthen relationships and build confidence.
Free to try · Responses are private & encrypted
Related tools
What does the Passive, Aggressive, Assertive Journal cover?
- Whether a recent conversation was passive, aggressive or assertive
- How that affected the outcome
- The fears or beliefs that make assertiveness hard
- A situation where you want to practise being assertive
- How you would respond without fear or anger
Who is this Passive, Aggressive, Assertive Journal for?
Helpful if you:
🙊 Go quiet and feel unheard
🔥 Come across more forcefully than you mean to
🤝 Want to say what you need while keeping relationships strong
For therapists:
Assign this journal in assertiveness, communication or relationship work. The client's chosen practice situation can be rehearsed in session before they try it, and the fears they identify give material for cognitive work. Fully HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Dr Harriet Mellotte
Clinical Psychologist & CBT Therapist, BABCP
“Offload is a fantastic resource for both clients and therapists. The world of CBT has been lacking an app which enables the sharing of CBT worksheets and homework tasks between clients and therapists, but Offload completely does this, making the service we offer more professional and the benefits to clients greater.”
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between passive, aggressive and assertive communication?
Passive communication puts others first and leaves you unheard. Aggressive communication puts you first in a way that pushes people away. Assertive communication respects both: you say clearly what you feel and need while respecting the other person's position. It is the style that builds trust and confidence.
Why do I go passive or aggressive?
Usually fear or old habits. Fear of conflict, rejection or being seen as difficult pushes people towards passivity; feeling unheard or threatened pushes towards aggression. The journal asks what fears or beliefs make assertiveness hard for you, because those are what need addressing.
Can assertiveness be learned?
Yes. Assertiveness is a skill, and it improves with practice in small, low-stakes situations first. Using I statements, being specific about what you need, and planning what to say in advance all help. Offload's I Statements and Planning a Conversation journals are good companions.
Can my therapist assign this journal?
Yes. Therapists on Offload can assign Passive, Aggressive, Assertive in assertiveness, communication or relationship work, rehearse your chosen situation in session, and work on the fears you identify. Your responses are available for them to review beforehand. Fully HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Are you a therapist?
Assign this therapy tool and 170+ other interactive tools directly to your clients. Build personalised care plans, customise tools, and review client responses before sessions. HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Explore Offload for therapistsReferences
Gál, Z. et al. (2025) – The Relationship Between Social Problem-Solving and Passive-Aggressive Behavior Among Adolescents. - This study uses the Passive Aggression Scale (PAS) to empirically investigate passive-aggressive behavior and its associations with social problem-solving patterns in young people. Epstein, N. (1980) – Social Consequences of Assertion, Aggression, Passive-Aggression, and Submission. - Classic research comparing outcomes (compliance, anger, sympathy) in response to different communication request styles (including assertive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive modes), often cited in interpersonal communication literature. Marici, M. (2024) – The Impact of Coercive and Assertive Communication Styles on Emotional and Social Outcomes. - Experimental study highlighting differences in outcomes for assertive vs. coercive (aggressive) communication, positioning assertive communication in contrast to more hostile styles in social interaction research.
