Self Blaming
Self-blaming is when you take all the responsibility for something that went wrong, even when other factors were involved. Learning to recognise realistic causes can help you respond with more balance and self-compassion.
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What does the Self Blaming Mini Course cover?
What self-blame is and how it differs from healthy accountability, the situations where it tends to show up, the cycle that keeps it going, and self-compassion techniques such as weighing the evidence and speaking to yourself as you would to a friend.
Who is this Self Blaming Mini Course for?
Helpful if you:
🙇 Take all the blame when things go wrong
😔 Feel shame or guilt out of proportion to what happened
💛 Want to be more balanced and kinder to yourself
For therapists:
Assign this course when self-blame or personalisation features in a client's formulation. Their evidence for and against gives material for cognitive restructuring and self-compassion work in session. Fully HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Dr Harriet Mellotte
Clinical Psychologist & CBT Therapist, BABCP
“Offload is a fantastic resource for both clients and therapists. The world of CBT has been lacking an app which enables the sharing of CBT worksheets and homework tasks between clients and therapists, but Offload completely does this, making the service we offer more professional and the benefits to clients greater.”
Frequently asked questions
What is self-blame?
Self-blame is taking all the responsibility for something that went wrong, even when other people or circumstances played a part. Unlike healthy accountability, which focuses on learning, self-blame involves harsh self-criticism and assuming total responsibility for outcomes you could not fully control.
Is self-blame the same as taking responsibility?
No. Taking responsibility means owning your part and asking what you would do differently. Self-blame takes everyone's part, adds judgement, and leaves no room for learning because you are too busy being at fault. The course helps you tell the two apart in your own situations.
How do I stop blaming myself?
Look at the evidence for and against the thought, list every factor that contributed to the outcome, and ask what you would say to a friend in the same position. Self-compassion is central: research shows it reduces anxiety and depression while increasing, not reducing, motivation to do better.
Can my therapist assign this course?
Yes. Therapists on Offload can assign this course when self-blame or personalisation features in a client's formulation, and your evidence for and against gives material for cognitive restructuring and self-compassion work. Your responses are available for them to review before the next session. Fully HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Are you a therapist?
Assign this therapy tool and 200+ other interactive tools directly to your clients. Build personalised care plans, customise tools, and review client responses before sessions. HIPAA and GDPR compliant.
Explore Offload for therapistsReferences
Abramson, L. Y., Metalsky, G. I., & Alloy, L. B. (1989). Hopelessness depression: A theory-based subtype of depression. Psychological Review, 96(2), 358–372. — Classic model showing that a self-blaming attributional style (internal, stable, global attributions for negative events) predicts depressive symptoms. Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J., Shaw, B. F., & Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive Therapy of Depression. Guilford Press. — Foundational CBT work identifying self-blaming thoughts as a core cognitive distortion targeted in therapy. Saffari, M., Ebrahimi, H., & Ramezani, M. (2024). Relationship between cognitive distortions and depression in university students. Journal of Affective Disorders Reports. — Recent empirical study demonstrating that self-blaming distortions are strongly associated with increased depressive symptoms.
